Seeds and Mirrors
…. and the real power we possess.
It's a clear, cold and windy Sunday as I write this, and even as the fields are brown outside my kitchen window, there is a sense of life making its burgeoning presence known.
Burgeoning. There's an example of a word that I don't typically use, but I'll reach for when writing, because I'm pretty sure it means what I think it means (but, I still have to check, just to be sure...).
And, I wonder if you've noticed this too, how sometimes you'll use an uncommon (though not completely out there) word or phrase in a conversation, and within a few minutes, your listener will have worked that word into their own dialogue.
I think it's but one of many illustrations of how we co-regulate as humans: tempering down or ratcheting up and otherwise reflecting each other's state - usually unconsciously - as a means of finding connection and common ground.
We mimic words, tone, body language, even breathing - or not - and maybe this is where we knowingly or unknowingly perceive 'resonance' or 'tension' within that interaction.
Granted, most of this regulation is occurring below the conscious radar. But, what if it wasn't?
There are, of course, gifted co-regulators among us. Those who can inspire enthusiasm, inspiration and courage.
And those who can invoke calm simply by their presence.
It's a blessing to be around such people when we need those shifts - and perhaps a greater blessing when we can intentionally be those people, for ourselves and others.
I've been going on a lot lately about this embodiment stuff, I know.
Some might say, yeah, about that... so what?
What's all the fuss about embodiment, and why is being aware of yourself all the time somehow NOT a selfish indulgence, and how can this possibly have any bearing on my Monday morning?
Well, while cultivating relaxation is but one of the many practices and benefits of this work (and who doesn't like feeling relaxed once in a while?), the release of rigidity: in our bodies, minds, self-perceptions, ideologies, etc. allows us to not only feel more alive and free in our skin, but to be able to impart that freedom to others, should they choose to partake.
I think we'd be hard-pressed right now to argue against the need for a different way of being than rigid and tense individually and collectively.
Tension can take many forms: avoidance, numbing, over-reactivity, making assumptions about the behavior and intentions of others, defensiveness, pushing back, aggression. As a result, we close ourselves off to others, which creates more tension, which closes us off to ourselves ... and round and round it goes.
Do I realistically believe that a personal practice of embodiment can create peaceful change the world?
I honestly don't know if it could. I do know that continuing to push back against the conflict (whether external or internal) doesn't seem to be very productive. And it certainly doesn't feel very good.
I also know that to release layers of tension is powerful self-regulation for our own health and well-being. And more to the point, it's the best sense of self we can offer to another.
Is this easy?
Oh, hell, no....!
Waking up to ourselves, and releasing the bazillion layers of 'who we think we're supposed to be and constantly guard' is a flippin' lifelong commitment. :)
That's the good news.
But seriously, this is an area where we have the greatest influence over the world we live in. Maybe the only influence, and that is good news, I believe. It's lot more do-able than trying to stop wars in other lands, or even in our own relationships.
It may be the only area where we can exercise some choice: We can default to being fertile soil for the seeds of divisiveness, and mirrors of behavior that end in disconnection and aggression.
Or, we can sow the seeds of peace.
We can choose to be reflectors of light (as a good friend recently reminded me) - of our own, of the other, of God.
A teacher of one of my teachers, however, reminds us that peacemaking is not merely 'an intellectual insight'.
It's not simply a matter of deciding to be the change we wish to see, and posting cutesy memes on Instagram (while shaming those aren't in line with that 'change').
It truly is a practice of embodied response - not so different than training for war, or crisis or anything that demands preparedness - wherein, we begin by becoming aware of how even our fleeting thoughts contribute to physiological reactions and tension.
From there, with being able to call ourselves back from the ledge, and calm the heck down - and question those statements, like "I can't HELP but be angry...!", and have the fortitude to excuse ourselves from the rant-fests as they break out in the real and virtual worlds.
Sometimes, we can't. And, that's okay, too.
Like I said, it's a lifelong practice. We will always have plenty work with. :)
This is nothing new, really.
The characters, the particulars have changed over time, but the conflicts are as old as human history.
Like truth - which, if it's genuinely truth - each generation and individual soul will encounter it anew from their own relative experience and moment in time, and will have to work out their own salvation.
To what end?
Well, some might call this evolution. Some might call this building the kingdom of heaven.
All I know is that we each have a part to play and a choice to make, and we are each born with a seed to sow and an image of love to reflect amidst this burgeoning drama of life.
Shine on.
Paul Linden is, among other things, the developer of Being-in-Movement® and one of the inspirations for this post. :)
