Willfulness and willingness
I skipped my otherwise regularly-scheduled posting for last week.
It wasn't for lack of trying - I spent a few hours hashing and rehashing, and finally gave myself permission to let it go.
To stop trying to push the river.
Whatever message I was trying to share simply wasn't cooperating, allowing itself to be wrangled into my feeble words, and the effort was leaving me with a headache. (So, I trusted you would manage just fine in my absence... :)
I'm learning the difference between how 'force' and 'resistance' feel in my body, versus 'perseverance' and 'right effort'... and to honor that difference.
In any given time, our culture's prevailing message (spoken or otherwise) is take action. Do. Push. Make a plan and get on it. Certainly heightened in January. Certainly emphasized THIS January.
I have been grateful for the voices this season that have been tapping into the "downward', "inward", and "floating" energies of Winter: the Yin aspect of water - the Yin Will - which is the ability to relax, go with the flow, see where the current leads, to balance the Yang Will... the 'pushing the river.'
Will-fulness versus will-ingness, perhaps? Letting go can still be an act of the will....
There, of course, is a time for urgency and decisive action.
But, like I said, our culture seems to make this All The Time: Call today! Act Now! Don't miss out! ... until we really can't discern what is truly urgent ... which is a lot less than we are led to believe.
Danielle LaPorte, author and advocate for heart-centered power, reminds us that 'slower is brave'.
That when going though momentous times such as these, we need to allow space for collective reorientation. Pause. Breathe.
Urgency is breathless. Panic breathing. Emergency breathing.
There's a place for that ... but it also creates the perception of an emergency where there may not be one. Do we know the difference?
In Qigong and Restorative Movement, we are encouraged, like strongly, to go slowly through the movements.
Which is hard.
Because when we slow down, we encounter the weak spots that speed and momentum allow us to gloss over. We feel clumsy, awkward, off-balance, and yet - the Will-ingness to allow those areas to surface to consciousness gives us to opportunity to heal them. Strengthen them. Integrate them.
Become more whole.
Clare Dubois, founder of TreeSisters, shared a lovely invitation this month to simply feel what it's like to just let go. (Only 9 minutes! Totally worth it...)
Like a tree dropping its leaves, waiting for the time when the sap will rise - when it feels called, rather than when it ought - can we just sink into this time of depth, dreaming and stillness?
Can we resist the urge to make plans and schemes - a coping mechanism to deal with uncertainty - and trust that we "know exactly what (we) need to know which is (we) are making space for something else to arise".
My message this week (and probably for the next few) is this:
Slow. Down.
In this time of information glut, take time to discern what you feel, what you know to be true. What you can call up from your own experience and inner knowing?
There are few things that can't wait for an internal conference.
This past year has been disorienting, dizzying. Find your grounding. In your body, your trusted social connections, your spiritual guidance.
We are blessed to be living in such a beautiful moment in time.
Because anything is possible.
